Saturday, November 7, 2009
Monday, November 24, 2008
'skid in'
Just received sms from Umm Tuqa: BELAJAR! haha. Thanks zah for reminding. Yesterday was perhaps the last day I spent time mugging with Djah at that feaking cold BK. HaHaHa. So, I think I'm gonna catch a movie or two.. Anyone tagging along? Dammit, Rai will be away... Miss you baby.. Nevermind, I'll watch alone.Yeah...
'skid out'
faz egh?
Just received sms from Umm Tuqa: BELAJAR! haha. Thanks zah for reminding. Yesterday was perhaps the last day I spent time mugging with Djah at that feaking cold BK. HaHaHa. So, I think I'm gonna catch a movie or two.. Anyone tagging along? Dammit, Rai will be away... Miss you baby.. Nevermind, I'll watch alone.Yeah...
'skid out'
faz egh?
what we could have been, 4:09 PM.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
'pool in'
(I miss pool by the way)
Reality check: Hadith is fun. Ulums are fun. And that's all.
Reality check 2: I am feeling melancholic.
Reality check 3: My c702 is fine.
Reality check 4: Ouch! It hurts.
Reality check 5: I MISS HAZMI ( best friend) and all friends.
Arggh! I can't wait for the exams to end! Somebody, take me away from here? I don't wish to face anybody. I don't wish to shed tears anymore.
Adakah ini semua telah tertulis do Luh Mahfuz? Nasib celaka dan bahagiaku? Mungkin saja.. Ya Tuhan, tabahkanlah jiwa yang minta dibelai ini. ( Thanks to Tauhid )
Feeling melancholic? Listen to S CLUB 7- Never Had A Dream Come True.
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
Amd tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
You'll always be the one I know (I'll never forget)
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
p.s This is Fatimah's favourite. I MISS YOU IMAH!
=(
'pool out'
Anak gadis Cik Ajis.
menyayangimu selalu.walaupun kau tak pernah meminta.
(I miss pool by the way)
Reality check: Hadith is fun. Ulums are fun. And that's all.
Reality check 2: I am feeling melancholic.
Reality check 3: My c702 is fine.
Reality check 4: Ouch! It hurts.
Reality check 5: I MISS HAZMI ( best friend) and all friends.
Arggh! I can't wait for the exams to end! Somebody, take me away from here? I don't wish to face anybody. I don't wish to shed tears anymore.
Adakah ini semua telah tertulis do Luh Mahfuz? Nasib celaka dan bahagiaku? Mungkin saja.. Ya Tuhan, tabahkanlah jiwa yang minta dibelai ini. ( Thanks to Tauhid )
Feeling melancholic? Listen to S CLUB 7- Never Had A Dream Come True.
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or neither been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
Till that day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where love takes me to
A part of me will always be with you
Somewhere in my memory I lost all sense of time
Amd tomorrow can never be
'Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or neither been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
You'll always be the dream that fills my head
You'll always be the one I know (I'll never forget)
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
p.s This is Fatimah's favourite. I MISS YOU IMAH!
=(
'pool out'
Anak gadis Cik Ajis.
menyayangimu selalu.walaupun kau tak pernah meminta.
what we could have been, 5:50 PM.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
'skid in'
TWO MORE PAPERS!!!
and i'm free.... hehehehehehe
'skid out'
TWO MORE PAPERS!!!
and i'm free.... hehehehehehe
'skid out'
what we could have been, 2:32 PM.
Monday, October 20, 2008
'mioaw in'
I miss Gemok by the way.
It's been a while since I last saw her.
Hope she can still live happily without me around.
HAHAHAHA.Ridiculously hilarious.
I miss my Sec4.2 friends (and classroom).
It's been awhile since I last sat alone behind Rahman.
AWWWWWW.Sadly funny.
Oh ya, as I was listening to 987fm, Beyonce's new single If I Were A Boy caught my attention.
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
Try listening to it.
Happy mugging!!!
P.s Hamilton won! Way to go Mclaren! =)
'mioaw out'
a girl that nobody can have.
I miss Gemok by the way.
It's been a while since I last saw her.
Hope she can still live happily without me around.
HAHAHAHA.Ridiculously hilarious.
I miss my Sec4.2 friends (and classroom).
It's been awhile since I last sat alone behind Rahman.
AWWWWWW.Sadly funny.
Oh ya, as I was listening to 987fm, Beyonce's new single If I Were A Boy caught my attention.
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
Try listening to it.
Happy mugging!!!
P.s Hamilton won! Way to go Mclaren! =)
'mioaw out'
a girl that nobody can have.
what we could have been, 1:18 PM.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Khai's house.. Miss the ayam merah. Hot stuff for hot lady. heh.. =)
Sebelum terjadinya insiden kucing... Djah2.. tsktsk
AKAK and ADEK FOREVER!!!!! <3
MY ONLY PRESIDENT, MY DARLING KHAIR . =)
Si manis dengan Shisha.. (FAir k khai! heh)
Si anggun dengan makcik sipot. =)
Bigbrother Saleh Jupri. =) With love,us.
Though everything is forgiven, there are things that I, as a human being, can't simply forget. Not that I refuse to but I just can't. When I give it a look, the healing wound bleeds again. It hurts more that I think it will. All mentioned are the reasons why I keep avoiding it. I apologise. Even that I know, I am forgiven. =)
what we could have been, 11:23 PM.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Tina and Lester stood facing each other, only three feet apart. She waited. He was holding her gaze so calmly, it was almost unnatural and she wanted to look away. But his eyes were the most beautiful pair she’d ever seen, and she loved to look and look.
“I’m sorry, Tina.”
“For what?” she asked quickly. She was prepared to hear an excuse that he could not come and watch her show tonight.
He came closer. Her heart beat faster.
“We can’t be like we used to be. Not anymore.”
Her mouth fell open. “What? Why?”
Deep in her heart, she knew. They really were no longer like how they used to be. Things had been different, since that incident. That incident that she had subconsciously, naturally, chosen to go with Harry over Lester. She had not intended it. She instinctively had known she needed to be with Harry. Was that a mistake? Was following her instinct a mistake?
“I love you.” His voice cracked a little upon saying ‘you’. “Nothing can change that. I don’t think I’ll ever forget you. But I know my place.”
“Lester!” She stepped back. She did not like what she was hearing.
“You will be happier. Trust me.” He leaned in and kissed her. She wanted it to last. Forever.
When he drew back, his eyes were wet. He touched the tip of her chin briefly, and then walked away.
For a long time she stared at the spot where he had disappeared. The sun shining brightly in the sky and the gorgeous weather – everything seemed to be mocking her. She did not even realize her tears had started falling. In fact, she had barely begun registering in the fact that Lester had just left. Even his last words were difficult to digest.
Trust…you?
“Kris?”
She whirled around. Harry was just hurrying towards her.
“What’re you doing – hey, what’s wrong?” He had come close enough to notice the glittering streams of tears down her cold cheeks.
Tina stared at Harry. The reason why Lester had left her. The reason why Lester was most likely never going to come backstage to kiss her good luck anymore. The reason why half of her felt missing.
She wanted to hurt Harry. She wanted to punch every inch of him. She wanted to blind those gray eyes that were always so warm and full of love.
Harry stared back at her. Somehow, she knew he comprehended what had just happened. Did he know, too, that he was the cause of it? She didn’t say anything. Neither did he. So when he came to her and hugged her, she buried her face in his chest and sobbed her heart out.
*
Tina opened her eyes. She had just woken up from a dream which she instantly forgot the moment she opened her eyes. Almost all at once, tears streamed out from her eyes. I must have been dreaming about him.
She closed them again. More tears leaked out. Her nose felt blocked.
“Harry.”
She heard the creaking of the sofa springs in her hall. A few seconds later Harry had appeared. He did not appear sleepy at all. He sat on the bed by her and brushed aside the curls that concealed her eyes.
“You’ve been crying all night long,” he said.
“I can hardly breathe. My nose’s blocked.” She sounded funny, too. Her ‘m’s sounded like ‘b’s and her ‘n’s sounded like ‘d’s. Under any other circumstance they would have laughed over it, but she had not cracked a smile for three whole days. It was as though she had lost her ability to smile. Was that possible?
Harry took her by the shoulders and hoisted her up, arranging her pillows so she was half-sitting and half-lying down. She felt her nose begin to clear a little.
“’Trust me’. He told me to trust him. His last words to me.”
“Kris-”
“Trust him to what? To be like this?” She started crying again, although it hurt. It was as if her lungs were not taking in enough oxygen.
Harry, for the hundredth time that week, put his arms round her and pulled her close in a tight embrace. She buried her face in his shoulder. For a long time she cried, as he slowly rocked her back and forth. As she cried she thought, too, not just about Lester, but more about the man who was hugging her right now.
It had been three days since Lester left her. Thankfully the performance that night was the last of her England tour. Harry, as her personal bodyguard, had called her agent for her and told her she could not perform for very personal reasons. That very night she was supposed to sing, she had gotten onboard her private jet with Harry, and returned to America.
Since landing, she had spent most of her time at home, completely not functioning and thoroughly depressed. She had never been this way. She was devastated that Lester had left her. She did not even try to contact him. She could not. It had been final, that last meeting of theirs. Lester was not coming back, but facing the fact did not make it any easier. In fact, she kept feeling worse and worse.
Angel, Nikki and Elizabeth had tried to get to her, but Harry was sensitive enough to tell them Tina was not ready to see anybody yet. Especially not Angel, who had Lester’s eyes. Harry had basically been looking after her, shopping at the supermarket, cooking for her, unpacking her bags that she’d taken to England, negotiating with her agent, cleaning up the house, taking care of the laundry. The biggest gesture had to be him moving in to stay at her place for a while. He had taken the sofa outside in the hall. Although their apartments were next-door to each other, this was the first time Harry did something like this.
Harry also did not ask anything about how and why Lester left. He understood her enough that she would only say anything about that topic when she was really ready for it. Harry had done a million little things for her comfort – more than what a bodyguard, a best friend, an almost-brother was meant to do.
Her sobs had subdued by then.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
Harry’s response suddenly made her smile. Her face felt a bit stiff after such a long break from smiling. So she hadn’t lost the ability to smile after all. The little thought, though silly, injected her with a bit of relief. She drew back from him. “What kind of question is that?” she asked back.
“I haven’t seen that smile for quite a while.”
For a moment they just sat like that, looking at each other, speaking in silence, Tina expressing her gratitude, Harry expressing his relief. Twenty-five years had passed since their odd relationship began in cribs set side-by-side. Harry was practically her soulmate, the way they knew everything about each other, the way they had barely been separated since their baby days.
“I love you, Harry,” she said simply.
“I love you too.” He stood up, leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to make breakfast.”
“No, don’t.” She got up too. “I’ll wash up and we’ll head for breakfast outside, okay?”
“Are you trying to imply something? That I don’t cook good breakfast, for instance?”
“No.” She paused. “Let’s just get back to normal.”
He grinned. “Normal’s fine by me.”
A beautiful story by Nikki. =)
YOU MADE ME CRY, NIKKI!!!!!
“I’m sorry, Tina.”
“For what?” she asked quickly. She was prepared to hear an excuse that he could not come and watch her show tonight.
He came closer. Her heart beat faster.
“We can’t be like we used to be. Not anymore.”
Her mouth fell open. “What? Why?”
Deep in her heart, she knew. They really were no longer like how they used to be. Things had been different, since that incident. That incident that she had subconsciously, naturally, chosen to go with Harry over Lester. She had not intended it. She instinctively had known she needed to be with Harry. Was that a mistake? Was following her instinct a mistake?
“I love you.” His voice cracked a little upon saying ‘you’. “Nothing can change that. I don’t think I’ll ever forget you. But I know my place.”
“Lester!” She stepped back. She did not like what she was hearing.
“You will be happier. Trust me.” He leaned in and kissed her. She wanted it to last. Forever.
When he drew back, his eyes were wet. He touched the tip of her chin briefly, and then walked away.
For a long time she stared at the spot where he had disappeared. The sun shining brightly in the sky and the gorgeous weather – everything seemed to be mocking her. She did not even realize her tears had started falling. In fact, she had barely begun registering in the fact that Lester had just left. Even his last words were difficult to digest.
Trust…you?
“Kris?”
She whirled around. Harry was just hurrying towards her.
“What’re you doing – hey, what’s wrong?” He had come close enough to notice the glittering streams of tears down her cold cheeks.
Tina stared at Harry. The reason why Lester had left her. The reason why Lester was most likely never going to come backstage to kiss her good luck anymore. The reason why half of her felt missing.
She wanted to hurt Harry. She wanted to punch every inch of him. She wanted to blind those gray eyes that were always so warm and full of love.
Harry stared back at her. Somehow, she knew he comprehended what had just happened. Did he know, too, that he was the cause of it? She didn’t say anything. Neither did he. So when he came to her and hugged her, she buried her face in his chest and sobbed her heart out.
*
Tina opened her eyes. She had just woken up from a dream which she instantly forgot the moment she opened her eyes. Almost all at once, tears streamed out from her eyes. I must have been dreaming about him.
She closed them again. More tears leaked out. Her nose felt blocked.
“Harry.”
She heard the creaking of the sofa springs in her hall. A few seconds later Harry had appeared. He did not appear sleepy at all. He sat on the bed by her and brushed aside the curls that concealed her eyes.
“You’ve been crying all night long,” he said.
“I can hardly breathe. My nose’s blocked.” She sounded funny, too. Her ‘m’s sounded like ‘b’s and her ‘n’s sounded like ‘d’s. Under any other circumstance they would have laughed over it, but she had not cracked a smile for three whole days. It was as though she had lost her ability to smile. Was that possible?
Harry took her by the shoulders and hoisted her up, arranging her pillows so she was half-sitting and half-lying down. She felt her nose begin to clear a little.
“’Trust me’. He told me to trust him. His last words to me.”
“Kris-”
“Trust him to what? To be like this?” She started crying again, although it hurt. It was as if her lungs were not taking in enough oxygen.
Harry, for the hundredth time that week, put his arms round her and pulled her close in a tight embrace. She buried her face in his shoulder. For a long time she cried, as he slowly rocked her back and forth. As she cried she thought, too, not just about Lester, but more about the man who was hugging her right now.
It had been three days since Lester left her. Thankfully the performance that night was the last of her England tour. Harry, as her personal bodyguard, had called her agent for her and told her she could not perform for very personal reasons. That very night she was supposed to sing, she had gotten onboard her private jet with Harry, and returned to America.
Since landing, she had spent most of her time at home, completely not functioning and thoroughly depressed. She had never been this way. She was devastated that Lester had left her. She did not even try to contact him. She could not. It had been final, that last meeting of theirs. Lester was not coming back, but facing the fact did not make it any easier. In fact, she kept feeling worse and worse.
Angel, Nikki and Elizabeth had tried to get to her, but Harry was sensitive enough to tell them Tina was not ready to see anybody yet. Especially not Angel, who had Lester’s eyes. Harry had basically been looking after her, shopping at the supermarket, cooking for her, unpacking her bags that she’d taken to England, negotiating with her agent, cleaning up the house, taking care of the laundry. The biggest gesture had to be him moving in to stay at her place for a while. He had taken the sofa outside in the hall. Although their apartments were next-door to each other, this was the first time Harry did something like this.
Harry also did not ask anything about how and why Lester left. He understood her enough that she would only say anything about that topic when she was really ready for it. Harry had done a million little things for her comfort – more than what a bodyguard, a best friend, an almost-brother was meant to do.
Her sobs had subdued by then.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
Harry’s response suddenly made her smile. Her face felt a bit stiff after such a long break from smiling. So she hadn’t lost the ability to smile after all. The little thought, though silly, injected her with a bit of relief. She drew back from him. “What kind of question is that?” she asked back.
“I haven’t seen that smile for quite a while.”
For a moment they just sat like that, looking at each other, speaking in silence, Tina expressing her gratitude, Harry expressing his relief. Twenty-five years had passed since their odd relationship began in cribs set side-by-side. Harry was practically her soulmate, the way they knew everything about each other, the way they had barely been separated since their baby days.
“I love you, Harry,” she said simply.
“I love you too.” He stood up, leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to make breakfast.”
“No, don’t.” She got up too. “I’ll wash up and we’ll head for breakfast outside, okay?”
“Are you trying to imply something? That I don’t cook good breakfast, for instance?”
“No.” She paused. “Let’s just get back to normal.”
He grinned. “Normal’s fine by me.”
A beautiful story by Nikki. =)
YOU MADE ME CRY, NIKKI!!!!!
what we could have been, 10:58 PM.
